Pistachio Gelato & Salty Caramel Gelato
Creamy pistachio flavored gelato with pistachio pieces & Creamy salty caramel gelato
Pistachio Gelato & Salty Caramel Gelato
Date Tried - March 25, 2023
Location - Seated at the kitchen table with much civility
Format - Pint (x2)
Milkshake It? - Yes (x2)
Buy Again? - Yes (x2)
We’ve been here twice before.
Two other times I’ve had the gall to lump two flavor reviews into one newsletter without your permission. Death By Chocolate & Peppermint Stick was the first time that I had tried two flavors in the same bowl. The following week, I did it again with Milk Chocolate Gelato & Chocolate, less of a coincidence and more of a scientific assessment of the differences between these two kissing cousins.
As we slowly approach the end of the ‘I Scream, You Scream’ challenge, I had planned to space out the remaining gelato flavors with some intention, to give them each their respective moment in the spotlight. But the best laid plans of mice and men—something that we are intimately familiar with in our household—often go awry, particularly when Lisa comes home one night with the two remaining gelato pints, one in each hand.
So, the plan swiveled and here we find ourselves.
Pistachio Gelato & Salty Caramel Gelato were, in fact, tried together in the same bowl. And these flavors are no joke—they hit hard and fast with little reluctancy. Die hard readers may remember that, earlier in the project, I tried Mint Chip and Brew Ha-Ha in the same seating and decided that they were too good to be smashed into one overstuffed newsletter. Instead, I opted to give them each separate reviews, their collective release spanning two full weeks.
Frankly, these two gelatos deserve the same treatment. But, comrades, the clock is ticking; things simply must move along and, sooner rather than later, this dairy-thon must reach its conclusion.
[Side note → I nearly used the word gelati as the plural of gelato. But I did a quick search and found that, while this would have been correct linguistically, gelati is also its own unique dessert, a mixture of Italian ice and custard which sounds delightful.]
Without anymore delay…my thoughts:
In the name of plain honesty, when I tried these two flavors, I liked Salty Caramel more. It jumped out of the carton and did everything right. But now, looking back, it’s clear that Pistachio is the more mature of the two. And, the following day, it was the one that held my desire while I worked about twenty five feet from where it rested in the freezer.
The roasted pistachios are goldilocks (if that’s not a slang term the kids are using, it should be) and the base is impressively refined. There’s really not much else to expand upon here. If you are familiar with the culinary vigor of the pistachio—a food that, according to the archeological record, has been consumed consistently by humans since the Bronze Age—then you were already on board with this flavor before you started reading my review.
If you’re not yet a fan, don’t worry.
I give you clearance to proceed with no caution, Friend.
Salty Caramel Gelato is, without a shadow of a doubt, the strongest showing of the caramel swirl thus far. It’s all of the rich sweetness without the sickeningly over-sugary elements that cause its downfall in other flavor iterations. It’s not that Salty Caramel is less good than Pistachio, its just that I didn’t crave it as much the next day. In a race, I’d say one is a hare and the other is, well, a slightly slower hare.
Neither a tortoise.
I wasn’t actually able to pick up on the salt in the Salty Caramel. That’s fine with me—salted caramel is a treat, but not compulsory. Like its partner, there isn’t too much else to say.
These are simple flavors, elevated versions of a thing that simply just delivers.
As mentioned in the Milk Chocolate Gelato review, the definition of what gelato is can be a bit squirrely. When it comes to deep dairy knowledge, you should abandon the ‘I Scream, You Scream’ ship and instead defer to Lisa—she recently completed an online course through Cornell University about ice cream production and frozen dairy desserts.
I am unqualified in comparison, but sometimes deeply ineligible personages find themselves at the Helm of Greatness.
As far as Stewart’s is concerned, they advertise that their gelato is “made with our award winning milk and uses less cream than traditional ice cream.”
Whether or not this is the universal standard for what makes something a gelato, they are doing something right; Pistachio and Salty Caramel have won a collective four awards at the World Dairy Expo since 2018.
And here, dear Reader, I will impart upon you my boldest and most emphatic suggestion to Stewart’s yet. [Feel free to read it in a slightly louder and more important voice, either aloud or to yourself.]
Stewart’s should create a new flavor: a unique take on the “Neapolitan” half gallon that is ALL THREE gelato flavors side by side.
Imagine it…Milk Chocolate in the middle, as it is in their take on the birthday party classic, Vanilla/Chocolate/Strawberry. Flanked by Salty Caramel and Pistachio. It wouldn’t need to be a half gallon, but it could be.
And it should be.
So, to the Stewart’s corporate team:
I don’t know if you are actively following along with this newsletter. I’d understand if you aren’t; I have not been shy to reveal my true sentiments which are not always positive.
But, if you are, then offer me a proverbial nod of the head by turning this small dream into a reality.
Would prefer ice cream instead of gelato. Pistachio pieces and caramel ice creams. Yummm