Philly Vanilla
Vanilla ice cream with finely ground vanilla bean
Date Tried - January 16, 2023
Location - Kitchen counter (where else?)
Format - Half Gallon
Milkshake It? - Yes
Buy Again? - Yes
I am a person who often finds himself bogged down by arbitrary dogma. I create personal laws—and, by extension, bylaws—that dictate how I move through the world. Sometimes I can feel it happening, and sometimes I can’t.
In the case of the Stewart’s vanilla family, I can.
As previously mentioned, Stewart’s has three vanilla options: Vanilla, Philly Vanilla & French Vanilla. Technically, I have tried all three, but only technically. I had their plain Vanilla as part of Vanilla/Chocolate/Strawberry, but not on its own—not in its pure expression.
[As a side note, I quickly searched ‘famous trios’ to see if I could insert a pop culture joke here. I found it curious that, on Entertainment Weekly’s clickbait listicle, Buffy, Willow and Xander (of Buffy the Vampire Slayer) clocked in right before Luke, Leia and Han and right after Harry, Ron and Hermione.]
So, should this technicality matter? Of course it shouldn’t. After all, ‘I Scream, You Scream’ is a challenge of my own making—an exercise in medium-to-high levels of absurdity that, in the grand scheme of it all, simply does not make a difference. I should be able to “count” Vanilla as having been sufficiently “tried”.
Yet, the Rules were set in my mind long ago. A part of me longs to adhere to them, to honor their power, to uphold civility and order. And another part of me desires to break free from the bonds of my own making. Thus, in this inane and fabricated environment, the human condition rears its gnarled head once again.
But we are here to discuss Philly Vanilla, so let’s be on with it.
Hands down, this is the best vanilla flavor. I haven’t tried Cherry Vanilla yet, but, in my mind, that is an isotope—not a true member of the vanilla blood line.
As I’ve made clear, the Stewart’s chocolate base has impressed me beyond what I thought was previously possible. But Philly Vanilla reminds me why I’ve always been—and will continue to be—a vanilla man.
This is a perfect ice cream flavor. There isn’t much else that can be said. It is high quality dairy blended with one of Earth’s most beloved and mystical flavors. Alchemy of the highest and simplest degree.
Philadelphia-style ice cream, according to the internet, is just ice cream made without eggs. After peeking at the ingredient list, I can confirm that this is true of Philly Vanilla. But there is some deeper wordplay to be explored here. Philly Dake was the matriarch of the Dake family and executive vice president of the Stewart’s Shops Corporation. She passed away in 2012 at the age of 85. Her energy and philanthropy made her a beloved figure and cemented her legacy in the Saratoga Springs region. If I were her, I’d be honored to have my name attached to such a premier flavor.
Also, she was apparently known for her collection of camel figurines.
So that’s pretty cool and weird.