Peanut Butter Pandemonium
Date Tried - November 23rd, 2022
Location - In the best chair in the house with much jubilee about
Format - Half Gallon
Milkshake it? - Yes
Buy Again? - Yes
“Pandemonium the Palace of Satan rises, suddenly built out of the Deep: The infernal Peers there sit in Councel.”
John Milton coined the term “Pandemonium” in his 17th-century epic poem Paradise Lost—I remember this from my days of studying English Literature. Milton’s poem changed the world of art and famously flipped the Christian narrative on its head, allowing readers to temporarily walk in the footsteps of the fallen angel Lucifer—a misunderstood and thoughtful character who, in Book 1, gathers all of the fallen angels and orchestrates the construction of Pandemonium, Hell’s great hall of demons.
Did Stewart’s take all of this into account when they named their flavor? Were they considering the moral and cultural implications of the biblical Fall of Man? Of idolatry? Of monarchy and reverence and divine right? If so, they make no mention of it on their website which—in my estimation—is a grave shame.
Here’s an observation: the word “pandemonium” has slipped into modern parlance and represents an intangible state of confusion or mania. I challenge you to drop this definition and look at Peanut Butter Pandemonium through the lens of Milton’s original meaning. The vanilla base stands in as Hell’s towering hall and the mix-ins (fudge, peanut butter & peanut butter cups) are the demons housed within its walls. Here they gather and listen intently to hear of the promise “of a new World and new kind of Creature to be created.”
Peanut Butter Pandemonium is that creature—a wicked cacophony of intense flavor that begs to be reckoned with by man and gods alike. And I think we can safely say that this goal was achieved; Peanut Butter Pandemonium took 1st place this year in the Peanut Butter Ice Cream Class at the World Dairy Expo.
Let’s square up—it’s not my favorite flavor that I’ve tried. But if I had a hankering for something with peanut butter, the choice would be clear. I ate this ice cream the night before Thanksgiving, our house bustling with excitable family members. My sister-in-law’s boyfriend Nick, an outspoken Stewart’s advocate, glanced at me after his first bite, his eyebrows raised.
“…It’s not a misnomer.”
I may have slightly misremembered that quote, but the point remains the same. This flavor is a powerhouse. That night, my bowl was a 50/50 split between Peanut Butter Pandemonium and Mint Cookie Crumble. As of now, Mint Cookie Crumble sits upon the exalted throne as the best Stewart’s offering that I’ve tried thus far in this challenge.
And there—in the bowl—I watched the symbolism play out, a metaphysical clash of deities. Two award-winning flavors with two very different outlooks on what makes ice cream good.
Take it away, John…