Cookies 'N Cream
Vanilla flavored ice cream with Oreo® cookie pieces
Date Tried - August 22, 2023
Location - Standing at the kitchen counter, tired
Format - Half Gallon
Milkshake It? - Oh goodness, yes
Buy Again? - Yes
It’s difficult to write this review without mentioning something non-ice cream related that has impacted most aspects of Lisa and I’s life since it came to be. On August 21st, we brought home a 9-week old whippet puppy so that he could permanently live in our home and be called “Kirby”. We picked him up in Newark, NY, home to not only the Jackson & Perkins Company (a wholesale nursery business that specializes in roses such as the Laura Bush Floribunda Rose which was cultivated in honor of the First Lady), but also our friend Kyle Zappia.
Kirby is sweet—so, so sweet, really. He is very small, very sleek and very emotionally in tune. Early on in his time with us, he was hurriedly handed off to a crying woman and help calm her down. I wasn’t present, but I believe he was able to do so. Afterward she asked, “Is that dog on drugs?”
So, yes. He is very sweet.
He is also a menace in all the ways one might expect a puppy to be. This is not his fault, which is something I feel I must continue to remind myself. But some days it is easier than others. Many of you reading this have raised human children, so please understand that I recognize what it must feel like for a “dog parent” to take to the internet to explain the woes of raising young.
You are all built stronger than I am and I commend you for it.
I’ve had many simultaneous moments of frustration and realization, all of which I am trying to work through as best I can. The day after we brought him home, Lisa graciously ran and grabbed lunch for me, a Stewart’s submarine sandwich. She also wisely grabbed a half gallon of Cookies ‘N Cream because she knew it would be a key part of Kirby and I’s coexistence.
I’ll interrupt myself here to mention my father. He is being set in wax primarily because, over the near calendar year that ‘I Scream, You Scream’ has existed, he is the only person to specifically request that his name appear in the annals of this newsletter. It’s not technically true that I never mentioned him. On May 24th, in my review of Peanut Butter Cookie, I said: “We tried it on March 2nd, my father’s 63rd birthday.”
I concede that this isn’t a particularly glowing shoutout. So, given the nature of my focus lately, I have been thinking back to the Dogs of Radey Past and our relations to them as a family of owners. We had two dogs growing up (Snoopy & Odie), but only ever one at a time. I don’t remember my dad being particularly attached to either of them, but childhood memory recall can be tough, so maybe he was. In any event, they have had a dog named Bailey for over a decade and they are wildly attached to each other.
I’ll choose to take that as solace.
So—back to my moment of need—I sunk into Cookies ‘N Cream. And it was good, right away. Sure, I may have been in an elevated state of need, but the sensation hasn’t lessened as we’ve continued to tear through the halfie. In my Cookieccino review, I commented on (formerly reviewed flavor) Star Gazer—which includes pieces of Milky Way—to say that Cookieccino is, “…the only flavor since then that has taken the same corporate tag team approach with its inclusion of Oreo pieces.” This was wrong, because Cookies ‘N Cream does the same.
And boy, why wouldn’t they? Because it sure does work. It is highly reminiscent of the Oreo Cookie birthday cakes I used to make by hand at Dairy Queen. That is to say, it is incredibly creamy and delicious—almost lustworthy.
If you’re playing along at home, don’t sleep on Cookies ‘N Cream.
Though, there is one problem: I sort of assumed Cookies ‘N Cream would be a show stopper and my plan was to save it for last for that very reason. But, because Lisa was kind enough to go out of her way to soothe my fake parental wounds, I tried it second to last.
So, Friends, next week’s review will be the final flavor.
In the words of the Nintendo 64 iteration of Super Mario, “Thank you so much for-to playing my game.”
P.S. - Kirby was asleep next to me the entire time that I wrote this review. Not long ago, a dog walking on the street near to our house barked. He perked up suddenly, mildly startled and quite sleepy. He looked around for 10-15 seconds with wide eyes and then, eventually, allowed his head to fall back to the couch, draped over his front paws.
Both of his ears were, and continue to be, folded backwards.